Finding and Redefining Meaning

The Counseling Process

Counseling can be a murky process without a clear roadmap. My ultimate goal is to help my clients reduce their suffering and find more meaning, joy, and purpose in their life. I work towards that goal by working hard to understand the story and goals of my clients, building a strong relationship, utilizing what emerges in our process as an opportunity to increase self-awareness and potentially shift patterns, and through providing psycho-education. 

I integrate various approaches in my work with clients based on the best approach for each client and their presenting problem. However, I predominately operate from a Narrative perspective with a heavy focus on experiential, here-and-now moments. I believe that people ascribe meaning to the events, relationships, and reality of their lives through the stories they tell themselves and others (Combs & Freedman, 2012). My goal is to help clients open up different possibilities and directions based on helping them refocus and redefine their narrative. I cannot directly change the reality of my clients’ problems but there is a potential for potent and rich work if we zero in on how the client internalizes and views what is occurring and their capacity to create a new, more desirable future. Helping a client change and externalize their problems and then address their relationship to their problem are much more manageable tasks. I find joy in helping clients (such as young men recognize the power of letting go of cultural myths they have internalized as fact (such as the idea that lack of emotional expression equates to strength). 

Operationally, I use an experiential, process-oriented approach in order to help my clients increase self-awareness, develop coping skills, and unleash their innate capacity to adapt and thrive. I often use the quote “society is information rich but experience poor” to explain my focus on process and the experiencing of emotion over content and knowledge. Experience and the processing of the experience is an active process that gives us an instrument to learn about and potentially alter the client’s narrative. Attending to the relational process between myself and the client provides an interpersonal process that in itself can be an invaluable mechanism of change (Safran & Muran, 2000). 

The Role of Counselor and Client

As the therapist it is my responsibility to create an emotionally safe environment while following ethical guidelines and best practices. I commit to my clients to be dedicated to their process of self-exploration and growth. I work hard to hold up a mirror for clients with the belief that, when freed from their problem-saturated narratives, clients will be able to connect to their innate goodness and potential (White & Epston, 1990). I recognize that I bring my own story into the counseling relationship and work hard to address my own process in a healthy way that serves the relationship. I hope to avoid positioning myself as an expert in the life of my client, but instead to offer an opportunity to reframe the problems my clients are experiencing, their relationship to the problem(s), and their personal identity. I regularly reflect on whether or not what we are doing in therapy is helping us obtain our agreed upon goals and will revise the treatment plan or make referrals when necessary. 

I hope that my clients join our relationship in an authentic way with a willingness to be vulnerable. The process of leaning into discomfort and reflecting on one’s internal workings can be daunting. I hope that my clients can communicate with me as we go so that we can course correct when necessary. The process of counseling can feel like learning a new language and so I encourage my clients to be patient with himself or herself and ask for the help they need. 

References

Combs, G., & Freedman, J. (2012). Narrative, poststructuralism, and social justice: Current practices in narrative therapy. The Counseling Pschologist, 40(7), 1033-1060. 

Safran, Jeremy D, & Muran, J Christopher. (2000). Negotiating the therapeutic alliance: A relational treatment guide: Guilford Press.

White, Michael, & Epston, David. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends: WW Norton & Company.